Jenny and Richard

We thought adoption might be a solution, but we were aware of the rumours that it was a lengthy process and that there weren’t any children under the age of five available for adoption.

We attended an adoption information event with some trepidation. To our delight, we discovered that it might be possible to adopt a younger child and that the process would be much quicker and easier than we had anticipated.

We started the process when we were 38 years old, hoping for a young family and definitely a pre-school child. Almost a year to the day, we became the proud parents of a healthy nine-month-old baby girl, Emily.

Throughout the entire assessment process and beyond, we were well-guided and supported. We were kept informed and always knew what was happening.

We feel fortunate to have been able to adopt a baby, as the majority of children waiting longer for adoption are older or part of sibling groups.

Our social worker informed us that Emily’s mother had been identified as someone who would be unable to care for a baby.

Since Emily can stay in Devon, the same county as her birth parents, who present no risk or threat to her, we were asked to meet Emily’s birth parents. Initially, we were very apprehensive, but as time went on and the more we read and learned, we felt that we should. We believed it would be beneficial for conversations with Emily at a later date.

We didn’t share any details about our lives with the birth parents; it was all about them, why they had named her Emily, and the happy memories they had from their childhood. We were glad we did it, and it wasn’t nearly as daunting as we had anticipated.

Emily is perfectly happy and is developing into a well-adjusted little girl. The fact that she has been separated from her birth parents will always be a reality, but she is very attached to us. We already tell her that she was chosen for us and that she did not grow in mum’s tummy.

Our wider family lives locally and is extremely supportive. Emily’s grandparents assure us that they feel the same way about Emily as they do about their other grandchildren. We are just a normal family and are thrilled to have been able to adopt Emily, especially at such a young age. We always dreamt of having one child and are enjoying the roles of parenthood.

Jenny’s advice

One thing I would say to potential adopters is that you must be prepared to have your lives laid bare. Your relationship with your partner and your wider family will be discussed in detail, and if there are any emotional issues, the social workers will find them.

Talk with social workers about your expectations and how your network of friends and family can support you. You have to be completely honest from day one, but it is definitely worth it.

Names and locations have been changed for privacy.