Myth busting
Helping you to separate adoption fact from fiction!
There are many misconceptions about adoption. We’ve listed some of the most common below along with the myth-busting answers.
- 1. I’m single, so I can’t adopt
Single people can adopt, whatever their gender. Many single people and unmarried couples have successfully adopted children. We are open-minded to your relationship status.
- 2. I’m too old to adopt
Adopters need to be over 21 but there is no upper age limit.
We will expect you though to have the health and vitality to see your children through to an age of independence.
Consideration will be given to your age comparative to the age of the child you want to adopt; younger children are more likely to be placed with younger parents.
- 3. I can’t adopt because I'm gay
For members of the LGBTQ+ community thinking about adopting, the question absolutely shouldn’t be “Will my sexual orientation or gender identity count against me?”
We welcome everyone, regardless of your sexuality or gender identity – this is not a factor in your right to adopt.
- 4. I work full time so I’m not allowed to adopt / I’m unemployed or too poor to adopt
Your financial circumstances and employment status will always be considered as part of an adoption assessment.
You can be an adoptive parent while on benefits or on a low income.
Being unemployed or employed does not automatically rule you out.
- 5. I can’t adopt because I have a criminal record
If you have a criminal caution or conviction for offences against children or certain sexual offences against adults then you will not be able to adopt but, with the exception of these specified offences, a criminal record will not necessarily rule you out.
The key is to be totally honest in your application.
- 6. I have children living at home, so I won’t be able to adopt
It is a great asset to have experience of looking after children when applying to adopt so having children of your own will certainly not exclude you from adopting, whether they are living at home with you or have grown up.
Consideration will, however, be given to the age gap between your own children and the age of the child(ren) you wish to adopt. We recommend an age gap of at least two years between the youngest child and an adopted child.
- 7. I won’t be allowed to adopt because I can’t have my own children
If you have had or are undergoing fertility treatment most agencies will expect you to complete the treatment before considering adoption. The emotional demands in pursuing either route to parenthood can be great and doing both in tandem is not encouraged.
We will specify a set timescale between fertility treatment ending and formally applying to be approved as adopters.
- 8. I can’t adopt because I smoke or vape
Smoking or vaping will not necessarily rule you out from adopting.
There is no single national policy on smoking. However, being a smoker will severely restrict your chances of having any child placed post-approval.
According to national medical advice children under five and those with particular medical conditions should not be placed in smoking households. You will usually need to be smoke-free for at least six months before adoption before these groups can be considered.
When adopting with us at Adopt South West, if you, or someone you live with, smokes or vapes, then you won’t be able to adopt a child under five years old. You, or the smoker/vaper are advised to have quit for at least six months before you begin the process.
We want to make sure the child and you are in the best possible health to begin your life together. If you need support to stop smoking please seek advice from your GP.
- 9. I am disabled so will not be allowed to adopt
Disability is not a barrier to becoming an adopter and often experience of disability will be positively welcomed.
People with disabilities can provide a very loving home for a child, so don’t rule yourself out before you have had a conversation with us.
Even if you believe you might need some additional assistance to adopt, we may be able to help provide this support.
- 10. I can’t adopt a child from a different ethnic background
The aim for everyone in the adoption system is to find loving families for each child in need of a happy future, even if there is not a perfect ethnic match. People from all ethnic origins are needed.
Ethnicity is relevant, however, and you must have an understanding of the challenges that raising a child of a different ethnicity can provide. We will help prepare you for this, if it applies to you.
- 11. I’m unsure if I get paid adoption leave or financial support
When you adopt a child, you may be entitled to Statutory Adoption Leave and Adoption Pay. It’s a lot like Maternity Leave. See Adoption pay and leave: Overview – GOV.UK
If you are adopting as a couple you may be eligible to take Shared Parental Leave and Pay. When a couple adopts, they can choose one partner to take Adoption Leave and the other can take Paternity Leave, regardless of their gender.
You may also be eligible for Government help with child care costs, see Childcare Choices.
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